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Rectvm Satans, The - Occult Blood (5,5/10) - USA - 2009

Genre: Black Metal
Label: Self-production
Playing time: 27:30
Band homepage: Rectvm Satans, The


  1. Ding Her In The Dinger
  2. Rectvm Community Services Inc
  3. Cuidado! Piso Con Caca!
  4. Our Turd Reigns
  5. Beezlebowel
  6. Wave Ov Persistalsis

Oh beware! Most of you have been around the block a few times, you've seen things, done things, most of you weren't caught. So you will know to be wary, very wary when presented with any band that has any reference to The Arse in it's name. Many have fallen foul of the ANALs, the SHITTERs and the FECAL, you don't need me to tell you not to go sniffing out any RECTVMs.

As a general rule of thumb, songs about shit tend to be self descriptive and whoop-de-poo, “Occult Blood” is like a pile of year old manure. Note the age reference because this album doesn't benefit from the malodorous pong of the recently excreted, at least that would give it some unpleasantness to make it more memorable, unfortunately these songs are stale and predictable, a recurrent problem for those trying to make fun from the runs rather than being downright nasty. THE RECTVM SATANS describe themselves as Brown Metal and they'll get no argument there, what they actually sound like is a splattering of Grind with Black Metal and Industrial elements delivered with plenty of splash but no panache.

Making comic with the colonic is always going to be a shit or miss affair and “Ding Her In The Dinger” very nearly works. Heavily distorted guitar and bass grinds along alternating between a fast pace and a dirt-ridden slow stomp. The vocals are similarly distorted, delivered in a bestial snarl, they are probably the most effective aspect of the band's music. There is a simplistic keyboard undertone lilting throughout the track, it sounds incongruous but works in a perverse way and I suppose is the most obvious nod to Black Metal. From thereon in these tracks tend towards the tedious and no manner of frivolities such as the Spanish guitar flourish at the beginning of the turd track can get this shit to shine. The appeal of the keyboard rapidly diminishes when used and the composition is just uninspired, it's as if the RECTVMs are just going through the motions.

It has to be said that the grimy sound that the guitars and bass present is a plus, it's primitive and abrasive but it just isn't used to best effect, although “Beezlebowel” after a lack-lustre start makes a concerted attempt to fling the filth, especially with its stabbing lead runs, however it's too little, too late. Given that a quarter of this albums length is taken by the final track, it may have been better not to be subjected to a pointless meandering of synth driven space junk, it doesn't fit in any way with what falls before and is about seven minutes of its seven and a half minute length too long.

I always look for positives when reviewing an album but I'm struggling with “Occult Blood.” I'd like to be able to say the boys dung well but there are far better bands talking shit and who leave a far bigger stain.

(Online September 12, 2010)

Niall MacCartney

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