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Cephalic Carnage - Misled By Certainty (7,5/10) - USA - 2010

Genre: Experimental / Death Metal / Grindcore
Label: Relapse Records
Playing time: 53:35
Band homepage: Cephalic Carnage


  1. The Incorrigible Flame
  2. Warbots A.M.   
  3. Abraxas Of Filth
  4. Pure Horses     
  5. Cordyceps Humanis     
  6. Raped By An Orb          
  7. P.G.A.D.          
  8. Dimensional Modulation Transmography           
  9. Ohrwurm          
  10. When I Arrive    
  11. A King And A Thief        
  12. Power And Force          
  13. Repangaea
  14. Aeyeuchg!
Cephalic Carnage - Misled By Certainty

*Skip to the end if you want to read about how heavy this fucking album is.




If music has the ability to resemble an insane asylum, than CEPHALIC CARNAGE's "Misled By Certainty" is the equivalent of Ken Kesey's "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest." Aside from his rebellious nature, the novel's protagonist, Randle McMurphy, is quite lucid, however, he remains housed alongside lunatics and mental deficients. "Misled By Certainty" is very much like McMurphy; quite capable yet altogether content with acting like a fruitcake.


This is no slight on CEPHALIC CARNAGE's latest album. It is however a warning to any curious soul intrigued with the ways and methods of these Edgewater, Colorado grinders. Notorious for their marijuana-induced experimental Metal, "Misled By Certainty" is a worthy march in the discography of these five potheads. A delirious sonic symphony of rapid time changes and red-light green-light tempos, the brutality is melded with ogre vocalizations and, oh yeah, jazzy sax breaks!


I actually had the honor of seeing these guys in concert fairly recently, and beyond a strong live show - bassist Nick Schendzielos is one of the best head-bangers in Metal - CEPHALIC CARNAGE made it plain and clear with random shouts about masturbation and "Star Wars" that they are phenomenally giant nerds. Now I have no problem with geeks - at least not as big a problem as Homer Simpson - especially geeks who can jam the shit outta some Grind Death, but man oh man, asking a crowd of ugly Metalheads if they enjoyed jerking off just seemed like a reach. But I digress, because this brings me back to the album on hand (no pun intended).


"Misled By Certainty" carries with it that same forced atmosphere. Yes, I know, that's called Progressive Metal, but sometimes, it's like 'okay, stop there, stick with that, no! Don't leave!' CEPHALIC CARNAGE deviate from the norm a lot, and thankfully, for the majority of the album, it works. You sit there and listen and say to yourself that these guys can play like motherfuckers, because, really, these guys have their style down pat, but when they begin to abandon pummeling riffs for more of that winding, crazy tremolo picking, it wears you down. Enough is enough already.


Okay, from the review so far: CEPHALIC CARNAGE are unfunny, talented geeks who need to make things more linear. That's all bullshit. It's subjective. They are definitely geeks, they are definitely talented, and who knows, they're probably pretty funny. What I do know, for sure, is that "Misled By Certainty" is heavy as shit.




That's right, heavy as fuckin' shit. There are moments in the album, of which I vaguely referred to earlier, that slam and trudge like a gargantuan ball-swollen behemoth out for blood and lactating breasts. "Raped By An Orb" is an awesome song that kicks you in the asshole before you have a chance to check for skid-marks and "A King And A Thief" is so mosh-hungry it'll devour those very same crap-smeared boxer briefs before you have a chance to smell your own brown fingertips.


Matter-of-factly, CEPHALIC CARNAGE are stoner poindexters who play an insanely thick and impressive form of balls-out Grind Death not suitable for snobs or jocks or straight-edge pussies. You want to listen to some crazy shit that will just as quickly blow your mind with its hydroponic technicality? Pack this in your pipe and smoke it, narc.


One-hitters: "The Incorrigible Flame," "Warbots A.M.," "Raped By An Orb," and "Dimensional Modulation Transmography."

(Online November 20, 2010)

Evan Mugford

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