With a name like SEVERED CROTCH, you never know what you’re going to get, and by that I mean with a name like SEVERED CROTCH, you know exactly what you’re going to get.
Yep. You’re going to get Technical Death Metal that cuts balls and wieners off by the dozens. Dicks will float through the air and walnut-shaped bits of flesh will hang from airborne shredded nut-sacks while bloody balls will hit the floor like a pair of warm meatballs and flaccid and semi-stiff wangs will drop between them like circumcised hot dogs…
…SEVERED CROTCH are five groin-crazy dudes from Iceland who play a brand of very Progressive Death Metal, and with their debut full-length “The Nature of Entropy,” there’s no question that these fellas are prone to going balls out. The production on the album is awesome, not too clean and not too crabby, with serious crunch to the guitar, a bottom-heavy (not too heavy) sound, and some very solid drumming that will have those testicles of yours banging like a goddamn Newton’s Cradle. In spite of how good the album rips and roars through those speakers, however, SEVERED CROTCH unfortunately spend way too much time jerking off.
A jazzy fusion element is heard consistently throughout the album, “XII” is as good an example as any I suppose, and while it’s nice to hear some outside influence filter in, much of this wanking is extracurricular; too many riffs, too much wasted jism, not enough napkins and that dirty sock in the corner can hardly open anymore…There’s no denying how heavy, and yep, how brutal “Entropy” is, nor can anyone dismiss its technicality and musicianship, but far too many ornate arrangements splice into other weird-ass riffs; a trend that runs and flops unpredictably like a certain set of balls swirling in the wind.
For all its craziness, though, SEVERED CROTCH’s debut is girthy and impressive. A certain underhanded grind can be heard when the band churns all-out, and there is a definite methodical approach to each song. The band knows where each track is going and how it’s going to get there, and they want the listener to pay attention for the entire ride. Not lightning fast nor overtly technical, SEVERED CROTCH mix tempos nicely and neatly – whether it sounds good or not.
Surprisingly for a Progressive Tech Death Metal band, this album is very un-melodic. Occasional riffs shed a bit harmony, a little light, but overall, this is a very dark and nervous album that prefers rough edges to smooth corners, and this may be the record's biggest problem. This reviewer’s favorite tracks, the opener “Precursor to Entropy,” “Breeding Failure,” “A Breath of Hatred,” and the best track, the super-groovy “Human Recipes,” deliver portions of exactly what “Entropy” needs more of: memorable and catchy rhythm.
Still, it’s an above-average exercise for these talented, confused, and apparently emasculated Tech Death metal-heads. Oh, and word to the wise: skip the last two minutes of the final track. I think I know where they got their name from now.
(Online February 10, 2011)