According to EMI Records, the company behind this atrocity, if you have even the notion of having hair past your collar, play an electric guitar and the occasional guitar solo then you must be in a Heavy Metal band. And since EMI signed IRON MAIDEN they can’t, in a month of Sundays, be possibly wrong. But they are and I am on to them.
Since Metal must obviously be flavour of the month or is it just our turn to have a spurious and clearly preposterous ‘’Best Ever’’ album out, a double CD crammed full of some of the genres heavy weights padded out with some of the lesser well known foot soldiers of the Metal world.
Let’s not beat around the bush here a Best Of Heavy Metal album this ain’t. A fairly sub standard attempt at pulling together a mixture of Rock and Hard Rock plus some Metal is what we have here and on occasions it rises to be the best but for the most part this double CD is a shocker.
Let’s start with the Metal. Hands in the air let’s go crazy and all scream for indeed the mighty MAIDEN plus the PRIEST, SABBATH, MOTORHEAD, SAXON, MEGADETH, MALMSTEEN, WOLFSBANE (yes I kid you not), SCORPIANS and QUEENSRYCHE all have been included to fly the flag for out and out Metal. However like just about every Metal/Hard Rock compilation CD ever released we get “Paranoid”, “Ace Of Spades”, “Breaking The Law” and “Run To The Hills”. It’s as if these legendary bands only have one song that they play continuously over the course of their career and don’t play anything else or it could be said that all the bands mentioned have had their classic days and anything recorded in the last twenty years is deemed unfit for inclusion. Not true I hear you cry but the record execs must think so.
Still MAIDEN’s “Number Of The Beast” and SABBATH’s classic “War Pigs” do get a rare outing and it’s great to see MEGADETH and QUEENSRYHCE on there but where’s SLAYER, METALLICA, MANOWAR, AC/DC, ICED EARTH, HELLOWEEN… I could go on but this reviews gone on too long already! All nowhere in sight but the likes of THUNDER, NICKELBACK (depressing I know), QUIET RIOT, POISON (again I kid you not on a Metal album) and RIOT (yeah know all about them) manage to adorn this album with some of the worst songs covered and written in living memory. And none of them, not one are Heavy Metal.
I suppose a best ever Metal album wouldn’t be complete without “Smoke On The Water” by the PURPS. Strange though I wouldn’t class PURPLE as Metal. They’ve got a keyboard player. (Online August 13, 2004)