With a band name that ranks alongside DOOMSQUIRREL, WAPENSPRAAK and SATAN’S ALMIGHTY PENIS as dumbass in the highest degree and promo photos that make those of bands like IMMORTAL and MANIAC BUTCHER look majestic in comparison, this band’s music better be exceptionally good or else they would be one of the worst blots on the face of Metal. I’ve never listened to BIRDFLESH before and reading some reviews on this album the common consensus seems to be: crappy image/great music. I couldn’t disagree more.

I had to wade through so much shit to get to the very few worthy moments on here that I required nose and earplugs lest I be completely submersed by the mountains of feces. Save for “Dear Driver” (great Groove/Thrash/Grind track), “Dancefloor Dismemberment” (silly but oh so heavy), and the excellently titled “The Day Hell Came To Town” (great break at 1:11) there is NOTHING that redeems this album. What you get is wave after wave of heavy but ultimately shallow Grind that never really goes anywhere. Yeah, the production is excellent and there is some modicum of variety here (some Thrash touches, a splice of Groove, and weird clean vocals on the last track) but it’s all pretty forgettable. MACABRE suffers from the same deficiencies and that’s why I hate them too. In fact, I hate anyone who claims to like this disc. Sue me.

Being a silly-but-heavy Grind band just isn’t amusing anymore. Playing “songs” with an average length of 1 minute and recycling the same riff isn’t good enough anymore. It’s not just how you deliver the songs but also what you deliver. Take notes from prime TERRORIZER, HAEMORRHAGE, and PIG DESTROYER (post-Explosions In Ward 6) OK? They’re not the most diverse bands out there but they get down to the business of making forceful Grind. After sitting through these bands’ music you feel like you’ve listened to actual songs, not just a collection of moments. With the exception of SPLATTERHOUSE and PUTRID PILE Grindcore post-2000 is pretty much dead, and this album is yet another nail in its coffin.

If you like your music weak then listen to this.

(Online July 19, 2007)